And above all things, never think that you’re not good enough yourself. My belief is that in life people will take you at your own reckoning.
You are Good Enough!!
Do you struggle with feelings that you’re not good enough? I do, and so do most people. Do you have trouble believing in your ability to accomplish what you want in life? These feelings of self-doubt are quite normal.
We see others around us who have built up successful businesses, or who are following a very promising career path. We envy what they are experiencing and want to be in that position, too.
The belief that you’re not good enough is a normal, natural feeling. The danger is that it can stop you from achieving your dreams. Sometimes it can even stop you from dreaming.
Having low self-esteem and feeling you aren’t good enough, can be linked to a number of factors. These factors are actually holding you back. By recognizing them and dealing with them, you can confidently start working towards achieving your greatest goals.
Here are several possible factors that might be holding you back.
Factor 3 is dealt with in depth, because it’s the factor that needs most attention if you are to take steps towards the life you long for.
Factor 1: The Perfectionist Syndrome
Are you under pressure from yourself to be perfect in all you do? This is an unrealistic goal to have. Perfection can never be achieved. Be willing to recognize and acknowledge this fact and accept yourself as you are. Focus on what you want in life and start today doing something to make it real.
Factor 2: The Compare-Yourself-with-Others Syndrome
Do you compare yourself with people you see who are living the kind of life you’d like to enjoy? It’s when you make comparisons that you see yourself lacking. You doubt your own ability to succeed.
A good way to overcome this normal, but negative look at life is by viewing what you want to achieve on your own terms. What someone else has accomplished is okay for them. Get a picture in your mind of what success means to you and then work towards that without reference to other people and their achievements. You are an individual and you can be successful in your own way.
Factor 3: The I’m-Not-Good-Enough Syndrome
Deep down under the belief that you’re not good enough is the fear that you’ll fail. People often fear failure when they are faced with trying something new or different – something that’s outside their experience and comfort zone.
Many people turn away from trying something they’ve always wanted to do due to fear of being a failure.
If you want to achieve anything great, it’s necessary to embrace failure instead of always trying to avoid or fight it. Failure is a natural part of any learning process. Failure is something that makes you aware of what’s not working, so you can change direction and try what could work. So believe that failure is a positive thing. It's invaluable and an exciting step on the road to success.
Because fear is a part of everyone’s life, it’s not necessary to feel you must eliminate it forever. Instead, learn some techniques to handle fear when it presents itself.
Techniques to Handle Fear
* * * Breathe into the Fear
Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself. Instead of ignoring the fear and hoping it will just go away, accept it as being real. Then you can place it in perspective. You’ll see that, in the scheme of your life, this fear is a minor thing. Don’t let it have control over you.
* * * Worst Case Scenario
I always look at the “worst case scenario” when faced with fear. Would you be ok if you had a go and failed? You’d still be alive wouldn’t you? When you use the worst case scenario technique, you’ll gain the courage to step out into the unknown.
* * * You are not the Failure
The important thing is that you, personally, are not the failure. Believe that the thing that failed is the way you went about the job. Brainstorm ways you could do the job differently. You might need to do some research or talk to friends for their ideas.
* * * Express Gratitude
Failure can be alleviated by focusing on gratefulness. If you appreciate the things that are going right in your life instead of what you’re frightened might happen, you’ll feel positive and ready to have a go. Take time to reflect on everything you can be grateful for.
* * * Move forward now
When you are weighed down with fear, taking action isn’t always easy. Tell yourself that despite your fear, you’ll DO IT. Be brave. Amaze yourself. Take just one step. Some of the pain of failure disappears with every step you take. Have a plan for moving forward, though. Work at it, practice, get the skills you need and go for it.
* * * Now is the Time
Fears are linked with the future. We think ahead to what might happen instead of focusing on the moment right now. Forget about what might result and look only at the present moment. Each success you have will help you move up the ladder to the next rung, and so on. Eventually success will be yours. You will have achieved what you thought was impossible – what you thought you were not good enough to do.
Quotes to inspire you
Here are some quotes on the topic of failure from high achievers. Maybe their words of wisdom will change your perspective.
“It is fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”
“Don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t waste energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. It’s ok to fail. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing.”
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of a greater or equal benefit.”
Really, you ARE good enough
Everyone has a struggle of their own kind. Everyone has their own insecurities and problems they face when they are working towards a better future. Recognize your own positive qualities.
Talk with closest friends about the things you struggle with, but build each other up so that you can both continue doing what you want to do. Remember that all of us feel we are not good enough in some particular aspect of our life.
Look at reality and realize all of us are imperfect. Acknowledge and work with the strengths and talent you know you possess. Be positive.
Can you get to that turning point? Accept that you are good enough. Being good enough doesn’t mean being perfect. It does mean turning your back on comparing yourself with others, and realizing that failure is a positive part of life.
Regularly review your life, making particular note of the things that are going right for you. Note the special moments and the things of which you can be proud that you have accomplished.
So you’ve made mistakes! We all have. You are far better than those failures or mistakes. Be proud of yourself.
Step out in confidence – even if it means being outside your comfort zone. Believe that you are good enough to do anything you really want to do - because you are.